10 Seconds

I don't  know how to start this post.

I guess I should say that everything is fine.  We are okay but I am crying already.

Yesterday started off good.  Health kick in full effect, good workout, happy kids, happy mama.

After I worked out Taylor left with an friend and I stayed with Jax in the lounge/cafe area at the gym. I fed him lunch and watched him play with a friend.  When we were ready to leave he walked to the water fountain, there is a step stool there that he loves to climb.  I watched him stop there, then I turned my to pack my bag.

I turned my back to him for 10 seconds, when I turned around he was gone.  I looked in all directions. 

The door was propped open. There is water. A pool, a kiddie pool and a hot tub.  I ran outside.

I looked towards the kiddie pool he was not there, then to hot tub.

This is hard to write it, I keep waiting to wake up.  This didn't really happen, it couldn't happen to me. 

He was in the hot tub.  I may have screamed I don't remember. 

I ran.  My mind and my legs raced. 

At the edge of the hot tub I landed wrong, heard a pop in my foot, I jumped in, and  I grabbed my baby.  

He was fine.

He coughed, he snuggled, and finally he smiled. 

He is fine.  He is perfect.

I however am not, my foot is likely broken. I can't walk much less run. I can't drive, I can't carry my baby. My foot is a painful reminder of the worst and best moments of my life.  My child fell in the water and I did not know where he was then I got to hold my child as I sat on the side of the hot tube holding him and he was fine. 

The utter fear of seeing my baby in the water is much more painful and and will and will last much longer then a broken foot.

Broken bones will heel.

I am more thankful and blessed then I could ever begin to express,
elena