I am a little tightly wound.
I don't know when it happened but it has only gotten worse since having kids. I like things how I like them and I like the way I do them. But I am working on letting go.
Because I have no choice.
Last week my dear friend, Julie, dropped everything to fly here and come help me. She has no kids and she spent a week playing mom to my kids and taking care of me. I cannot thank her enough or express how much it means to me that she would put her life of hold and come to my rescue on a moments notice.
My mom has been out of the country and will be here in a few days to help then my sister will come. In the meantime, Rob took the week off work and is trying to fill my shoes.
For the first time in years I am not hopping out of bed as soon as the kids are up. Instead I pop a pain pill and doze off while Rob gets up.
In our normal life Rob does a lot to help with the kids and the house. He is involved and certainly does his part, but playing me is another ball game. It is a wake up call to how much I do.
I am trying to let go of the guilt mixed with angst and all the other emotions I feel as I sit back and let someone else take over.
Rob is doing a good job, he is trying. He understands how hard it is for me to not be able to run our world. He is hustling from morning to night, keeping our kids happy, and fed, and clean, while trying to keep our house together.
He may not be me, things may not be done the way I would do them, but they are getting done.
I am trying not to comment or critique (too much), and remind myself that we will survive even if everything is not done my way.
What matters is I have a husband who will work so hard to make sure we are all taken care of, who will hustle all day to try and make life as close to normal as he can. He is up with the kids at 6:00 and making breakfast at 7:00, he brings my coffee upstairs before he takes the kids out to play, he is doing a good job.
I had to break my foot to make myself relax.
Enjoy the day,
elena
*if you missed the post about how I managed to break my foot you can read about it here.
Thank you for posting this. I have been feeling the same. My hubby has stepped up and I am trying hard not to.criticize either. Things haven't been done in my time frame or as I would do them but they get done. I have no Family to depend on so its just us. I am trying to hold it together and not freak on the little things. I sill heal and will have all the time to.clean and run errands and such so I might as well enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you whet through what you did but may your family really learn to appreciate you for you are truly a wonder woman. When we are both healed, let's celebrate!
Thanks Ginger.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear you broke your foot! That must be so hard. It's great that you have such a wonderful support system to help you through it! Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving such a sweet comment! I soo appreciate it. And I am now following your blog! :) I love the name...though it may have contributed to your broken foot? I can't imagine running in heels! Going to read the story now!
ReplyDeleteStar Hughes Living
So sorry about your foot! Was it related to running in heels? :) It sounds like you have an amazing friend - and hubby too! I know it's hard to relax and let others help you but try to enjoy it :)
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way, and it sucks. It can be nearly impossible to let go and relax, no matter how many times you are told to JUST RELAX! It's not that easy! The only time I have been able to let go was when I was sick once and apologizing to my husband for being sick and not having dinner ready and blah blah blah. He said, "Why can't you let me ever be the one to take care of us? You always do everything for our family, and I'd like to be able to do everything for once and be proud of myself about it."
ReplyDeleteOf course then I had to feel guilty about not letting him feel proud of his domestic abilities ever, but at least I did it while laying down and resting!
Mom Guilt. I swear, it's our kryptonite.
ReplyDeleteSit back and enjoy the downtime, but also enjoy the fact that you are truly loved by those around you.
I hope you heal quickly but are able to get good rest in the meantime. Sounds like you have an awesome support system through your family!
ReplyDeleteOh, and by the way, I LOVE the title of your blog! It's so cute and creative and creates such an awesome image.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful husband and good for you for getting some time to relax! There's nothing you can do so you might as well enjoy it and not overanalyze it (easier said than done, I'm sure!). Take it easy and enjoy your independence!
ReplyDeleteFeel better Elena! How wonderful to have a support network around you!
ReplyDeleteLeft a little award for you on my blog...hope it cheers you up!
http://anothercookieplease.com/2011/06/i-feel-special/
Hugs,
Patty
Chin up! This will only make you stronger and appreciate more the people..not things..in your life! Thank you for stopping by! Wish you a speedy recovery!
ReplyDeleteHi there- I stumbled on your blog today and am a new follower. I'm glad things are sorting themselves out for you. You're so lucky to have friends and family to help out. I can't imagine what I'd do if this happened to me- we just moved to South Africa. No one would fly to come help out, and we have no real friends here yet. I hope that you continue to heal and take this time to relax, as you said. If you have a chance, follow my blog at http://withoutcomplexities.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteTake care!
Hi, I am your newest follower. I read this entry first then went back one. I actually cried when I read about you finding your little one in the water. Ah.. still teary. So glad he is okay and that you have the support you do.
ReplyDeleteI am Lucy's mom and will be by to check on you later. Can I bring you anything? Some zen?