I am a little tightly wound.
I don't know when it happened but it has only gotten worse since having kids. I like things how I like them and I like the way I do them. But I am working on letting go.
Because I have no choice.
Last week my dear friend, Julie, dropped everything to fly here and come help me. She has no kids and she spent a week playing mom to my kids and taking care of me. I cannot thank her enough or express how much it means to me that she would put her life of hold and come to my rescue on a moments notice.
My mom has been out of the country and will be here in a few days to help then my sister will come. In the meantime, Rob took the week off work and is trying to fill my shoes.
For the first time in years I am not hopping out of bed as soon as the kids are up. Instead I pop a pain pill and doze off while Rob gets up.
In our normal life Rob does a lot to help with the kids and the house. He is involved and certainly does his part, but playing me is another ball game. It is a wake up call to how much I do.
I am trying to let go of the guilt mixed with angst and all the other emotions I feel as I sit back and let someone else take over.
Rob is doing a good job, he is trying. He understands how hard it is for me to not be able to run our world. He is hustling from morning to night, keeping our kids happy, and fed, and clean, while trying to keep our house together.
He may not be me, things may not be done the way I would do them, but they are getting done.
I am trying not to comment or critique (too much), and remind myself that we will survive even if everything is not done my way.
What matters is I have a husband who will work so hard to make sure we are all taken care of, who will hustle all day to try and make life as close to normal as he can. He is up with the kids at 6:00 and making breakfast at 7:00, he brings my coffee upstairs before he takes the kids out to play, he is doing a good job.
I had to break my foot to make myself relax.
Enjoy the day,
*if you missed the post about how I managed to break my foot you can read about it here.