Sunday, June 19, 2011
Fathers Day Mush
The day I told Rob I was pregnant with our first child I was overwhelmed and scared. We had been together nearly three years and engaged six months but I had a plan, babies came later.
It is not that Taylor was not planned she just came a year ahead of schedule.
My life was crazy.
I was working 50 hours a week, working on my MBA and planning my wedding. My life was like a revolving door. I was out of the house by 5:00 in the morning and between the gym, work and school I was gone until 10:00 at night.
It was not bad, it was nonstop, but not bad. I knew it was temporary.
Then things changed.
I was not feeling well. I could not pinpoint what was wrong, I just felt bad. I remember sitting at my desk nesting my head in my arms wondering how I would make it through the day. I was so tired.
Then the nagging feeling came. What if I was pregnant? I was on the pill. I always took it, but what if? I had switched they type of pill I was on, would that matter?
I managed to brush the feeling off. Then one morning I was at the gym before work and I had nothing in me, I could not make myself do my workout. The nagging feeling came back. On the way to work I stopped and bought a pregnancy test. I thought I was being crazy, I thought I would take the test just to ease my mind.
I went into ladies room at work, knowing I was not pregnant, I peed on the stick. I lifted the stick to eye my eyes. No three minute wait, there I was in the bathroom at work and I was pregnant.
I was pregnant.
When I told Rob I was sobbing. I wanted to be a mom but not yet. I wanted to plan it, I wanted to be prepared, I wanted to be married not engaged.
I wanted to be in charge.
I was sobbing but Rob was calm, he held me and asked why I was crying, he told me it would work out and that he would take care of us.
It has worked out and looking at my life now, I am glad it happened the way it did.
Over the past five years a lot has changed. I moved, became a stay at home mom, finished my masters, had two kids.
We created a new life, a good life.
Life does not always go as planned, we don't always agree, sometimes it is hard. We are very different people, but it works.
I love to watch Rob with our kids. He will do anything to be a good dad and to give our kids the kind of father he never had. The kind of life he did not have.
There is no one else I would want to do this with.
Happy Fathers Day to my husband and all the good dads out there.
Posted by Elena (Running in Heels After Child)