Sunday, June 19, 2011

Fathers Day Mush

The day I told Rob I was pregnant with our first child I was overwhelmed and scared.  We had been together nearly three years and engaged six months but I had a plan, babies came later.

It is not that Taylor was not planned she just came a year ahead of schedule.

My life was crazy.

I was working 50 hours a week, working on my MBA and planning my wedding.  My life was like a revolving door.  I was out of the house by 5:00 in the morning and between the gym, work and school I was gone until 10:00 at night.

It was not bad, it was nonstop, but not bad.  I knew it was temporary.

Then things changed.

I was not feeling well.  I could not pinpoint what was wrong, I just felt bad.  I remember sitting at my desk nesting my head in my arms wondering how I would make it through the day.  I was so tired. 

Then the nagging feeling came.  What if I was pregnant? I was on the pill.  I always took it, but what if?  I had switched they type of pill I was on, would that matter?

I managed to brush the feeling off.  Then one morning I was at the gym before work and I had nothing in me, I could not make myself do my workout.  The nagging feeling came back.  On the way to work I stopped and bought a pregnancy test.  I thought I was being crazy, I thought I would take the test just to ease my mind.

I went into ladies room at work, knowing I was not pregnant, I peed on the stick.  I lifted the stick to eye my eyes.  No three minute wait, there I was in the bathroom at work and I was pregnant.

I was pregnant.

When I told Rob I was sobbing.  I wanted to be a mom but not yet.  I wanted to plan it, I wanted to be prepared, I wanted to be married not engaged.

I wanted to be in charge. 

I was sobbing but Rob was calm, he held me and asked why I was crying, he told me it would work out and that he would take care of us.

It has worked out and looking at my life now, I am glad it happened the way it did.

Over the past five years a lot has changed.  I moved, became a stay at home mom, finished my masters, had two kids. 

We created a new life,  a good life.

Life does not always go as planned, we don't always agree, sometimes it is hard.  We are very different people, but it works.

I love to watch Rob with our kids.  He will do anything to be a good dad and to give our kids the kind of father he never had.  The kind of life he did not have.

There is no one else I would want to do this with.

Happy Fathers Day to my husband and all the good dads out there.

Love Always,



  1. Life doesn't always work out the way we planned, but it sure seems to all come together in the end. I cried when I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter. She was a surprise, but I'm so happy now. My girls are 22 months apart, which scared me at the time. It's nice for them to be close now, though. What did you get your masters degree in?

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment earlier. Did you see that I mentioned you in my Sunday Surf post this morning? I was so glad to read your post about Rain that I just had to share it with others. Here's the link to that post:

  2. It is good to take a moment and realize how fortunate we are to have the people we have in our lives, and that's what I love about Father's Day! :D Hope your day was wonderful!

  3. Aww what a beautiful story!! I hope when I have children it's as great as that!! Thank you for sharing that with us (the blogging world :) ) I hope your had a great day with the great man who is the father to your children.

  4. Oh! I teared up a little bit there! So beautiful.

  5. Thank you Elena for your posts. My eyes are tearing up after reading this. Going back to my single days, I was miserable and don't know why I keep going after the guys who made me feel like a heel. You know the type- attractive, well educated, good job but very egocentric. One reminded me of the character by Jon Hamm in Bridesmaids. Along the way, I have met some really nice guys but I ignore them. They were either too sweet or just not exciting enough. Then one day, the love of my life stepped in (did not know it at the time.) He treated me like a princess: wined and dined me on our first date and even have flowers sent to me the next day at work. My best friend at the time did not approve of him as he was not my "type". I guess she thought I could do better. But look what "better" got me before. Against her better judgement, I continued to see him and eventually we married. I no longer have contact with her. My husband to me is the best father and partner one can ever ask for. We too have our differences and disagree at times. He has never laid his hands on me or used foul words of any type. If nothing else, I am the hot headed one. To see him with my kids, loving them and caring for them since the day they were born is priceless. There is a saying that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. The way I look at it is this. When life hands you a bunch of beautiful roses, accept it enjoy enjoy it.

  6. Aw, such a beautiful post!!! You are AMAZING Elena, let me tell you! I can't believe you've juggled so much for so long - you're an inspiration!
    Star Hughes Living