Saturday, July 30, 2011

High Heels And Lotion

Remember your younger self, remember you imagined that you would go on a date every Friday night with the husband that you would meet someday.

My younger self would not be impressed with my current dating life.

We are making a point to date more this year.  To enjoy being a couple and not just a family.

We don't go out every week, sometimes once in a month is all we manage.  Rob is gone three nights a week and often more.  He is not home every Friday night or any other set day of the week. 

It feels good to get dressed, go out and and be my husbands date, his girlfriend. 

I am not a frumpy mom, I wear a dress and heels most days.  I don't spend my life in sweat pants unless I am going to the gym.  But I am a mom,  I spend a lot of my days on the floor and end up with peanut butter and banana smeared on my clothing.  I am a mess by the time my kids are in bed.

As sexy as broccoli in my cleavage is, being a grown up feels good, getting ready for a date feels good.  Taking a little extra time to put myself together, to fix myself up, to rub some lotion on reminds me of my younger self my sex pod self.

Rob and I go to a concert at a winery every year and for the past seven years it is the best date of the year.  I put on a new dress, a pair if heels, I do my hair and makeup (before I get in the car).

This year we stayed in a hotel, went to the concert, we ate, we drank, we danced (well danced while sitting with my broken foot).  It was a good night.

We will go on more dates this year, most will be closer to home and will only last an hour or two.  I will put on some lotion and high heels and be my husbands girlfriend.

We chose each other.  Someday the kids will leave,  Rob and I will still be here.

I want to know who he is, I want to know who we are.

What is you favorite date?



Thursday, July 14, 2011

My Zen

I can pinpoint the day I became a runner. 

My girlfriend Odessa asked if I wanted to sign up for a half marathon with her.  She was already a seasoned runner and I was hesitant to take the plunge. 

I had never run a 5k much less a half marathon.  Odessa assured me that if I needed she would run-walk she with me.

The moment I signed up for the race I knew I was not going to walk it, I was going to suck it up and figure out how to run 13.1 miles .

Nearly five years later I am still running.  A half marathon feels like a training run, it is not longer a distance I have to work towards.

I am a runner, I am not fast but I am definitely a runner.  It is part of who I am, it is how I find my zen.

For the past month I have been sitting with a broken foot. Letting go of running was manageable.  I was more concerned with how I was going to take care of my babies.  I was consumed with the idea that I cannot carry my son, or chase and play with Taylor.

A few days ago, my doctor said that I am going to be in a cast for another four through eight weeks, then I can add weight bearing and slowly I can start to walk.  As for running he said it is at least six months out.

Six Months.

No December marathon.  No April Marathon.

Six months with no running, I wanted to cry. 

I still want to cry.

I need a new way to find my zen.




Sunday, July 10, 2011

10 on 10 July

It was a good day.

Rise and shine, sick baby, cousin love, I am Janet you can be Michael, barber shop, boy time, dinner, baby love, date night, dessert.

Happy Sunday.



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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

sitting idle

I am a runner.  I am an athlete of sorts. I find myself and my strength when I run.  Running is my time, it's about me.

Here I sit with my broken foot, not running, not working out, not moving.

Trying not to loose mt mind as I let go control and ask for help.

I am tempted to spend my days eating through the boredom and drinking through the evening, but I know it would make me feel worse.  Instead I have given up all tasty temptations, I am sticking to fruit, veggies, lean proteins and water.

It is not exciting but it works.  I am not running, I am not moving, I am sitting. 

I do a lot of sitting.

My October marathon might be pushed back for a December one.  My summer baking and cooking has been replaced with browsing food blogs and eating plain chicken breasts.  My summer cocktail is a tall glass of water.

It is not what I planned, but it is working.  I know this this will pass, that my foot will heel, that our life will return back to normal. 

I am frustrated but I am thankful.