Thursday, July 14, 2011

My Zen

I can pinpoint the day I became a runner. 

My girlfriend Odessa asked if I wanted to sign up for a half marathon with her.  She was already a seasoned runner and I was hesitant to take the plunge. 

I had never run a 5k much less a half marathon.  Odessa assured me that if I needed she would run-walk she with me.

The moment I signed up for the race I knew I was not going to walk it, I was going to suck it up and figure out how to run 13.1 miles .

Nearly five years later I am still running.  A half marathon feels like a training run, it is not longer a distance I have to work towards.

I am a runner, I am not fast but I am definitely a runner.  It is part of who I am, it is how I find my zen.

For the past month I have been sitting with a broken foot. Letting go of running was manageable.  I was more concerned with how I was going to take care of my babies.  I was consumed with the idea that I cannot carry my son, or chase and play with Taylor.

A few days ago, my doctor said that I am going to be in a cast for another four through eight weeks, then I can add weight bearing and slowly I can start to walk.  As for running he said it is at least six months out.

Six Months.

No December marathon.  No April Marathon.

Six months with no running, I wanted to cry. 

I still want to cry.

I need a new way to find my zen.





  1. I am so sad for you. That is horrible. Hopefully it will heal fast.

    As for the part two post you inquired about, it goes out on Tuesday. Stay tuned.... :)

  2. Elena, I really feel for you. I am a runner as well and the very first race I ran was a half marathon! After having my second child I needed some way to clear my head, find me time, reclaim my body and running became all that for me.

    I know that not being able to run can actually make you go into a withdrawal like state. The feeling of those running shoes on trails and pavement is a craving.

    I hope you recover quickly and take the time to heal.

  3. I'm so sorry about your foot! I flipped my four wheeler and broke my foot and was out of soccer for a whole season! Tough break (that expression didn't come from no where) I'd say take the time to find other passion that are just as time consuming, they may not be as exercising but maybe they'll exercise your brain or creativity!

  4. oh no. I'm not a runner, never have been but to love something so much and then not be able to do it - would be heartbreaking. hugs sent to you and hang in there.

  5. much suckage.

    time to get creative.

    remember in all those runs where you had to push through something mental to make it happen...yeah, time to put that fortitude to the test. time to turn that runners soul to the task of finding an alternative-zen.

    (sorry, this is my tough love voice...i have a lot of sympathy and that's important too but looks like you are getting a lot of that)

  6. 4-8 weeks...I hope the time passes quickly for you. Can you use a pilates ball to rest your feet on to do planks or do upper body strength training.
    Today marks 10 weeks with my stress fracture...never mind the previous *months* I lost due to ITBS. This has been a year of challenges, but I refuse to give up and neither will you!

  7. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you...hang in there. It'll pass.

    You are inspiring, though, the way you talk about running. Almost makes me want to get off my ass and move. Almost. :)

  8. Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear this! I can totally relate to it being your zen!
    Look at it as a challenge to overcome. (It is, obviously). A challenge to expand your horizons and find a new zen. It won't be running but still it can help fill the void. Hugs!
    I love that you took on a half marathon so soon in your running life!

  9. I am not a distance runner, but I do exercise daily and to be told I couldn't do it for that long would kill me. I totally understand your frustration. Big hugs!!