Tuesday, May 31, 2011

random thoughts

My wild, wonderful daughter graduated preschool on Friday.  Her amazing preschool teacher has been teaching for over 30 years, she is thoughtful and warm but but overly fuzzy. She is sweet but does not sugar coat, she loves our kids and gives them a lot.

I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that kids need to be prepared for kindergarten.  When I was a kid it was all about playing, doing art and singing songs.  Now kids learn how to read and do math in kindergarten.

I cannot believe I am going to have a kid in elementary school.

My daughter is crazy.  Occasionally she goes berserk.   She is sweet and cute and smart, I enjoy her most of the time but on occasion she looses her damn mind.

When other peoples children loose their mind, I am thankful that it is not just mine.

Now to digress, 

I have a steam mop, it is the best thing ever.  No bucket needed, just fill, plug in and steam mop.  I should sell them I like it so much, if you have hard floors you should have one.

Clearly my life is a thrill a minute.

Do you watch Chelsea Lately? She is funny but why doesn't she wear mascara on her show? Every time I am flipping channels and pause on her show and wonder how she missed hair and makeup again.

I like mascara.

I new rug can pull a whole room together, I love my new rug and its unplanned location in my house.

Iced tea, lemonade and vodka are a really good combo.

I need to go to the gym and go running, the holiday is over.

Happy Tuesday,


Sunday, May 29, 2011

rise and shine mama

 I love being a mom. 

I never dreamed about a big white wedding, but I always dreamed about my kids.

Not a day goes by that my heart does not swell with love, that I do not look at my kids with wonder, that I am not thankful that this is my life.

I am a good mom but some days are hard.

Today is one of those days. 

The whining is making me crazy. 

I am calm and a consistent but today I am feeling neither. 

I walked away from my whining five year old and told her that I needed a moment.  Just a moment. 

She followed me. 

Really, why would you follow me.  Just give me one moment, give me a chance to breathe and compose myself.  So that when I talk to you, I can be kind and mature and not sound like a barking dog or a five year old.

I don't know the right reaction. I barked, she barked.

I don't know a perfect parent or a perfect child.  I don't have all the answers, I wish I did but I don't. 

Some days are better then others, it is only nine in the morning and today still has a chance.

Today will be a good day, we will get there.
My kids have a good life, I have a good life.



Thursday, May 26, 2011

I want

I want a summer home on the water. 

I want to holiday with friends and family, have cook outs and clam bakes. 

I want my kids to run carelessly in flip flop and swim suits.

I want it to be easy. 

I am not seeing a summer home in my near future.  Our life does not go on hold during the summer, there is still work to be done.

We go to summer concerts and picnic outside.  We play in a blowup pool and the sprinklers.  We swim in the pool at our gym.

I am thinking about starting a summer supper club.  We can get together with friends, let the kids play, have dinner, drinks and conversation. 

I want to embrace the summer, enjoy it and create memories.  I want create that beach house feeling with out going anywhere.


What do you do to make summer carefree. 


Tuesday, May 24, 2011


This past week has been crazy.  My mom visited, I walked in my graduation (you can read about that here).  I had friends visit, my husband had a birthday, we had a party, my girl had a birthday, she turned five.  I cooked and baked like mad and ran around in circles, without actually managing to run. 

I have not worked out in days, I have tried to keep eating in check, making good decisions among bad ones, I had some sweets, some tequila, some fun.

So much fun. 

I am tired, I have not slept nearly enough, I have a cough that is keeping me up all night, but I have spent the last several days enjoying. 

Enjoying my family, my friends, my husband, my kids, my life.

Tomorrow life returns to normal.



Sunday, May 22, 2011

He called me Ellen.

You may remember that I finally finished my masters this past December.

I went back and forth on whether I wanted to participate in graduation or not, I decided to do the masters hooding ceremony.

I wanted to feel the excitement and pride of finally finishing.

My stomach fluttered as I slipped on my gown.  It felt real, it felt good.

Then I rushed to check in then lined up and waited.

We stood in line for an hour and a half, and you know I was in four inch heels.

Eventually we filed onto the stage and I proceeded to wait for an hour while speeches were made and names were called.

Then it was my turn I stood tall, all the work coming down to a moment, to this moment.  The Dean called my name...and he called me Ellen.


So not worth it. An hour and a half of driving each way, two and a half hours of waiting in four inch heels, and he called me Ellen.

I was pissed.

Picture me,
I wrote this post on the stage, four rows back on my phone. Still waiting.  Waiting for them to finish calling names and saying speeches.

The man next to me was playing video games on his phone.

Our moment of glory.

Our hour and a half drive home took three hours.

I hope my family really enjoyed it.  Maybe someday I will look back on this moment and be thankful I participated but I will probably still be pissed that he called me Ellen.


Sunday, May 15, 2011

muffin tops

I went to the mall yesterday, I never go to the mall.  Specifically I never go to the mall alone with two kids, which by the way I don't suggest. 

Anyhow, the mall was packed.  My huge jogging stroller and wandering (almost) 5 year old did not help navigate the crowds.   It was not the scene of shopping bliss I had imagined, I was not able to manage any actual shopping.

After observing hordes of mall people I would like to offer the following suggestion:  If you have a muffin top (and I do), you should not wear clothing that draws attention to said muffin top. 

Please don't wear jeans that dig into your ample love handles and then top them off with a fitted shirt that struggles to fit around your love lumps.

Dress for your body. 

If you no longer have the body you once had, I pass not judgment, I am right there with you, but please adjust what you are wearing accordingly. 

If you dropped 30 pounds you would no go around wearing the same three sizes too small clothing.  Please do yourself a favor and don't continue to wear your skinny clothes when you are no longer skinny.

Mix it up a to flatter your new body. You may not want the body you are in but it is here, you cannot pretend it away.

I have spent a great deal of time remixing my wardrobe to find figure flattering combinations. 

Remember: flowing tops, dresses, layers and spanx are your friends.  Work with what you have.

I'm just saying..


If you have a moment and want a laugh check out this Lady Gaga spoof Muffin Top.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

May Ten on Ten

Ten hours, ten photos.  Finding life and beauty in everyday things.

It was a good day.  Easy, not too much going on. A morning at home, then the gym, then swim lessons and dinner with friends.  Not life changing, not amazing but good.

ten on ten button small



Saturday, May 7, 2011


My grandmother was from Kentucky, she referred to the Kentucky Derby as "Derby Day".

When I was little she had a box of costume jewelry for me to play with when we would visit.

When I was older she let me wear her jewelry to dinner.

She was not easy.  Occasionally she was sweet often she was not. 

She had good intentions, she was good to me.

When I was 17 I bought a car, I was supposed to pay it off in 36 months, but I needed to pay it off before I left for college.

I worked full time, I played on my tips and used my paycheck check to pay for the car.

I only needed one more paycheck to pay it off and I called my grandmother to tell her how excited I was.

A few days later I received a card in the mail, there was a check in it.  She made my final payment for me.  I did not ask or expect it but she did it.

I worked through college but my grandparents paid my tuition.  I was able to graduate with no student loans.

The first time my mom showed my grandmother a picture of Rob, she asked three times what his nationality was.

She was a Jewish bankers daughter from Kentucky and her granddaughter was marrying a black firefighter in California.

When I told her we found an area that we were going to buy a house in, she asked if it was a "mixed" neighborhood.

It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about.  It took me a moment to realized that she was not being mean or nasty, she was being supportive. She was genuinely concerned, she was being loving and excepting.

She was tired and sick when I was pregnant with Taylor.  She was done.  She did not want to fight any longer to be in this world.  She had lived her life. 

She called me to say goodbye, she apologized that she could not wait for my daughter.  She was ready and she knew it was coming. 

Ray Marie, I wish you could see us now, I wish you could see your great grandchildren.  You would be amazed at what your family has become. We have grown.  We have a good life.

Happy Derby Day,


Friday, May 6, 2011


I feel stuck in a point of transition,  a point of change, but nothing is changing.

I feel like I am waiting for something, but I am not quite sure for what.

I have a lovely life.  Our life is good.  Our life is full.

But I need something, a shift.

A project, a race, a trip, a plan, a change, something.

Something to plan for, to get excited about, something new.

I am having a case of the Sundays, but it is Friday.

Maybe it is just a moment.  Maybe tomorrow I will feel settled.


I feel misplaced.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Cinco de Mayo

Remember life before you were a real grown up, more importantly before kids.

When Cinco de Mayo meant drinking too much because you could.

An excuse to day drink.

Not so much any more. 

I guess our night did include tequila and nudity.

Sounds wild. 


I managed to drink a margarita while making sure my son did not eat the cat food, or fall down the stairs or open the cabinets and pull everything out on his toes.

But there was tequila none-the-less.

As for the nudity, the small people were armed with water guns and several of them opted to strip off there clothes.

Crazy wild.  I know.

We stayed out late until 7:30.  Living on the edge.

My life is not a nonstop party.  From the outside it may look dull, but we went out with friends, we had cocktails, and by 8:00 my small people were sleeping, I call it good.

Happy Cinco de Mayo.


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

a moment

I don't take baths but my kids do.

When they spend time in the bath I get me time.

I love the bath, I love me time.

This morning I needed to workout and I did not have time to wait for the gym daycare to open.

So....water, bubbles and two kids went into the tub.

I set up my computer between the two sinks and turned on Insanity (workout videos that leave me dripping in sweat).

While I watched my kids play in the bath, I got to sweat for 45 minutes, take a quick shower, get dressed and do my hair.

It took more then an hour.

It was good.

Thought I would take a moment and say I love the bath.

Enjoy the moment,


Monday, May 2, 2011

it's monday

Here we go with another week.

Last week my family (my mom, brother, sister-in-law and twin 16 month nephews) were staying with us and Rob was on vacation so he was home. 

We were all here.  In my house. 

It was good. I love my family and actually enjoy spending time with them.

I wished they lived next door.

Yesterday Rob went to work and my family left.  Like I said, I love my family, but I am so glad everyone got out of my house.  

Next time I complain about feeding or cleaning up after my small people, remind me how easy it is to take care of two people.

We have no big adventures planned for this week aside from a trip to the Bay Area to snuggle a baby and maybe wine country for mothers day.

I am going to enjoy the sun and work on getting lean.

Here are this weeks health kick goals:
  • Work out (lift three days, and do cardio three times)
  • Drink a lot of water (I did good last week but I still need to drink more)
  • Eat Healthy (lots of veggies, good protein, and not too many carbs or sweets)
  • Limit margaritas/wine/other cocktails (all calories count, even when the sun is out).
Additional Goals for the week:
  • Have a date with my husband (even if it ends up being on the couch with a movie).
  • Plan our meals (and actually make what I plan).
  • Build a planter box and plant a garden.

What's your plan for the week?  Any goals? Any heath kick plans?

Happy Monday,